30 Lessons for 30: Relationship Lessons

This past Friday I turned 30.  Wow.  There is something monumentally strange about typing that.  Probably because a part of me still feels like a teenager, yet here I am, leaving my twenties behind.

My twenties were a big decade for me (as they are for most people!).  I graduated college, moved across the country, started my career, had a baby, made mistakes, had victories… lots of life altering stuff.

Most of all I learned a lot— a lot about myself, about relationships and all kinds of other stuff.  So in honor of that I thought I would share 30 lessons that I’ve learned in my 30 years.  Now I am under no illusions that I am some wise sage.  But there are some nuggets I’ve learned and I thought it would be fun to compile some of them for you.

Don’t worry.  I am not going to shove 30 lessons down your throat all at once.  Instead I have broken them up into categories that I will share over the week.  And today I am beginning with Relationship Lessons.


Relationship Lessons (Jessica & Alexis)

Without Further Ado:

1)  Surround yourself with people who you love and who love you.  We are relational beings—not only do they offer us comfort they help us to grow as individuals as well.

2)  Love your friends and family through their faults.  You want them to do the same for you!

3)  Know that even the people you love won’t always live up to your expectations.  Expectations are for you—not for others.

4)  Don’t take advantage of people and don’t let yourself be taken advantage.  There are limits to what anyone should accept from another person.  Relationships require respect.

5)  Relationships have different lifespans.  And within those lifespans they have different forms.  Appreciate them for what they are to you in a moment of time.

6)  Find reasons to laugh with people.  Not to complain.  People want to surround themselves with positivity- not anguish (regardless of how valid it may be).


So those are my Relationship Lessons.  Tell me, what would you add to the list?


  1. Those are definitely great lessons. The sad part is that we definitely have to learn them as we grow. w00t, welcome to the 30’s. My understanding is that they’re even better than the 20s, and you’ve started it off with a good journey!

  2. These are some really excellent relationship lessons. I really have to remember that expectations are for yourself and not for others to adhere to as you see. That’s a big one for me. I am also going through a sort of transitional period in life as far as my relationship with my younger sister goes. We were estranged for several years and she is now married and six months pregnant. After a lot of talking, forgiveness, soul-searching, and realizing that we need to have a relationship with each other, we are attempting to mend all of the hurt we have caused each other. I’m apprehensive, scared, but optimistic because, like you said, we are relational beings, and it is imperative to love the people in our lives through their faults.

    Thank you for this post.

    • Alexis Grace says:

      Holly— thanks so much for sharing this. Isn’t it interesting how relationships, something so basal to the human condition, can prove to be so challenging? I hope you and your sister are able to negotiate a happy & healthy relationship.

  3. Monica Marshall says:

    Thank you Alex, how true. Reading your message made me cry remembering when I turned 30 and I thoght my life was over. My mother ensured me that it was just beginning. She was right. I am therfore telling you that life is now beginning for you. With a loving husband, an adorable little girl and a new living experience in a foreign country. I wish you well in all of your endeavors. I said a prayer for you yesterday at church. Be safe and happy.

  4. You are such a wise woman Alexis. That sentence, ‘expectations are for you, not for others’ can release a lot of frustration in life–one of those things that can take a lifetime to learn though, haha. Happy happy 30th birthday!

    xo Mary Jo

  5. This is great, and I do love that you’re dispersing your lessons throughout the week. Everyday is a learning experience for me. Happy 30th birthday, hope you just sit back and enjoy your week. You have much to be proud about dear! xx/Madison :-)

  6. So true about showing people your fun side! We all need to vent, but nobody wants to be around a constant complainer. I hope you had a fab bday lady!

  7. Happy belated birthday, I hope you had a fun time celebrating in Singapore! I’m about to turn 30 myself and can relate to all of these lessons… I totally agree, I feel like I’ve figured out a lot about myself over the years – I wish I could have told these lessons to be 20 year old self lol. Looking forward to the next set!

  8. Happymother says:

    Alexis, I am very impressed. You are in a wonderful period of life, building your family and living a totally new life in Singapore. When I think about my 30 birthday, it’s just around the corner but 19 years ago! I learned an important lesson, keep your friends , wherever you live. My friends are all over the world, because we were living in different countries. You may find new friends, but I takes time to build up a good friendship.

  9. THE-LOUDMOUTH says:

    This is such a good idea for a series, and I’m absolutely loving it so far (though I’m a little late in the game). Also, I don’t know why I never realized before that we’re both Aries! No wonder our personalities are so much alike. 😉 Happy belated birthday, my love!

    I totally agree with these, though I’d like to add to #6. I think it’s important to have friends to laugh with, but you should also feel comfortable enough to go to your friends when you need a shoulder to cry on, and they should feel the same about you. I’ve had my share of fair-weather friends who disappear as soon as troubles arise, but I believe we need to be there for each other during both sad and happy times!

    That being said, it’s never fun to be around someone who is constantly complaining and negative. There needs to be a balance!

  10. Well happy belated birthday! I’d like to add one. If you can’t be yourself around someone you probably don’t need them in your life.

  11. You are such a great friend Alexis, although I only know your via social media I feel extremely close to you. Thank you so much for being my friend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Regarding turning 30, are you kidding? You are just getting started doll, savor every moment!

Speak Your Mind